What Happens When a Guy Discovers You Posted About Him Online?

Discovering that someone has found out about your online post concerning them can be an uncomfortable and unsettling situation.

The best way to prevent getting in any sort of trouble legally is to refrain from posting about someone unless you feel you absolutely need to. Going on a date with someone that doesn’t like you or act exactly how you want them to, does not warrant you posting about them.

Refrain as much as you can.

This article aims to provide guidance and support for individuals who find themselves in such a predicament. By understanding common tactics employed by individuals who feel threatened by online posts, you can better protect yourself and maintain control over your own narrative.

1. Crafted Image and Isolation

Many individuals spend considerable time constructing a positive image of themselves while concealing negative attributes. They may also attempt to isolate the people they interact with, hoping to maintain control over the narrative surrounding their actions. When exposed online, they often resort to various tactics to regain control and intimidate those who posted about them.

2. Common Lies and Threats

It’s essential to recognize that individuals who discover your online post may resort to deceptive tactics in an attempt to coerce you into removing the content. By being aware of these common lies and threats, you can approach the situation more confidently:

Legal Threats

One common strategy is to threaten legal action, claiming they will sue you or have their lawyer contact you. In most cases, these threats lack merit and are merely attempts to pressure you into deleting the post. If you have evidence to support your claims or speak truthfully based on personal experiences, the likelihood of facing legal consequences is minimal. However, if you do receive legal papers, it’s advisable to seek professional advice.

Police Involvement

Some individuals may falsely claim they will involve the police and press charges against you. It’s important to note that cases involving defamation or libel are typically civil matters, not criminal ones. Law enforcement authorities are unlikely to take action against you for expressing your opinions or sharing truthful information. If you feel threatened or harassed, it’s recommended to report their actions to the police instead.

Exaggerated Reports of Multiple Accusers

Another deceptive tactic is to claim that multiple people have made similar accusations against you. These individuals may use this strategy to make you feel powerless and undermine the integrity of the group or community where the post was made. In reality, such claims are often unfounded and intended to manipulate your perception.

Surveillance Claims

Some individuals might assert that they have a fake profile within the group and are closely monitoring your actions. While rare, instances of individuals gaining access to groups through fake profiles have occurred. However, it’s more likely that someone they know provided them with information or screenshots. Claims of ongoing surveillance are frequently bluffs designed to exert control and instill fear.

Accusations Against Admins or Moderators

Occasionally, individuals may falsely allege that an administrator or moderator leaked the post or revealed the identity of an anonymous poster. It’s important to note that responsible administrators prioritize user privacy and will not disclose such information. These false accusations aim to create division within the group and undermine trust.

3. Understanding Their Powerlessness

It’s crucial to recognize that individuals who attempt to intimidate you through lies and threats are fundamentally powerless unless they can convince you to remove the post. By understanding their motives and tactics, you can maintain control of the situation and protect your own well-being.

4. Ensuring Personal Safety

While it’s important to stand by your words and experiences, there may be circumstances where you feel physically threatened or at risk of harassment. In such cases, prioritizing your safety is paramount. If you genuinely believe that your well-being is in danger, it might be advisable to remove the post.

5. Anonymous Posting and Engaging with the Individual

If you posted anonymously and provided minimal details that could be traced back to you, it’s crucial to carefully analyze the language used by the individual who reached out to you. In some cases, they might be bluffing about knowing your identity, hoping that you will inadvertently admit your involvement. Take the time to thoroughly read and consider their words before openly acknowledging your post.

6. Reporting Leaks and Seeking Support

If you are aware of who leaked the post, it’s essential to promptly inform an administrator or moderator. They can provide guidance and assistance in addressing the situation. Be patient in receiving a response, as these individuals have real-life responsibilities alongside their role in the online community.

7. The Possibility of False Accusations

It’s important to avoid jumping to conclusions based solely on deleted comments within the online thread. While it is possible that someone who deleted their comments may have leaked the post, they could have also done so out of fear or under pressure from the person you posted about. Consider the possibility of alternative explanations before making assumptions.


Finding out that someone has discovered your online post about them can be distressing, but it’s crucial to remain calm, logical, and one step ahead of the situation. By understanding common tactics employed by individuals feeling threatened, you can navigate these encounters more effectively. But the bottom line is – just delete the post if someone finds out. Imagine if they did the same about you. How would you feel? Unless you were seriously harmed, take all rejections in stride and take down the post if you get caught.

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