Ben, 34

Ben and I dated for seven months, four of which we were in an official relationship. He seemed SO GREAT to begin with – really kind and thoughtful, very consistent about seeing me, involved and interested in my life. Honestly the most promising situation I’ve had in ages. In only the last month he was being less consistent, but he was aware of it and said he wanted to see me more but was incredibly stressed at work and didn’t handle stress well, and that as soon as his stressful work situation ended we would spend a lot more time together. My anxious attachment style flared up but I didn’t want to jump to the worst case scenario, so I was trying to be patient and understanding and trust him that he was having a hard time. Then out of nowhere he sent me a fucking TEXT telling me he wasn’t ready for a relationship and had lots of insecurities and didn’t know how to open up to people. Not thrilled about that but I got on the phone with him. He was panicking but told me over and over that he really cared about me and wanted me in his life, but he was really insecure and depressed and had a lot of fears of opening up, and by the end he had shared a couple more personal things and seemed to see the value in confiding in someone and not being scared. We agreed to talk in person in a couple weeks. He told me he was talking to his therapist about his fears and feelings and he would tell me about them when we talked. He seemed SO OPEN to having this conversation at this point. We scheduled a time to meet, and he canceled the day of and asked if we could meet another day. We set up an alternate time – and he canceled again! He suggested another day, and I replied with a scheduling clarification, and he never replied. When I messaged to check in he had fucking BLOCKED ME. After seven months, and after telling me how much he cared about me, and that he was ready to talk. Just treating me like I’m completely worthless.
Basically, DO NOT TRUST this man. He might seem great at first but he has the MOST avoidant attachment style and WILL detach in a cruel, disrespectful way when things start to get serious. He will treat you like you aren’t even a human, like several months were completely meaningless to him. He’s far too immature for a relationship. He says himself that he is cowardly and selfish and he’s totally right about that. He won’t say it to you until it’s too late so I’m telling you now so hopefully you can avoid the extreme pain he’s caused me.